So That You Will Remember
by SleepingDove
Summary: tezuryo I will love you til the end of time, but for now, I am with him, but this too might be love.


same stuff....

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**They** are racing down a hill. The driver up front is cursing and yelling about how they are going to be late to school....again. The air is cold and the sun has barely begun to rise.  
  
Momoshiro curses again as he avoids a ditch with his bike.  
  
Ryoma is standing on the back, his hands on Momo's shoulders and his eyes closed. The sound of Momo's shouting and the noise of the early morning does not register in the young tennis players mind.  
  
The frigid wind brushes by the prodigy's cheeks, leaving red marks behind. It's winter and the threat of snow hangs ominously in the air. It was a winter morning like this exactly one year ago that Ryoma broke off with HIM.  
  
They met through tennis. Tennis had forced the first year wonder boy and the third year captain to meet. Echizen had not been impressed when he first met the tennis star. Tezuka was a presence to be reckoned with, but that was about it. It wasn't until they played their first match that Ryoma realized the captain of Seigaku was more than a figure.  
  
It was after that first match, Ryoma began his chase for Tezuka.  
  
It wasn't because he was in love with the captain, and even if it was, the love wasn't for the person, but rather, he was in love with his tennis. This love, or obsession, led Ryoma to observe Tezuka more. Later, when observing wasn't enough, Ryoma began challenging the other player.  
  
Soon, it became a ritual between the two. Once a week they would meet secretly and practice together.  
  
His love for the captain didn't appear out of nowhere, but instead, it was gradual. At first, Ryoma only chased after the tennis, then, he began chasing the player. From his love of Tezuka's tennis Ryoma was led fall in love with his captain.  
  
By the time Ryoma realized this, he was already in too deep. He didn't know what to do. But then he found out he didn't have to do anything. Tezuka did everything for him.  
  
Tezuka confessed first.  
  
Ryoma had been flabbergasted when it happened. It was days before the Tezuka left for Germany.  
  
"Echizen."  
  
Ryoma looked up from the tennis magazine he had been reading over at Tezuka's place.  
  
"Sit here."  
  
Tezuka pointed to a stop directly in front of him. Ryoma blinked and then moved to the location.  
  
"I need to tell you something."  
  
Ryoma sat down and stared.  
  
"Let's date."  
  
Ryoma blinked. Then blinked again.  
  
"Ehhh...What?"  
  
"Let's date."  
  
Ryoma looked at the captain unable to believe what he was hearing. While Ryoma had imagined this kind of situation many times in his mind, actually having to be in the situation was different. He didn't know how to answer.  
  
"Echizen."  
  
Tezuka stiffly sat as he waited for Ryoma's answer. Ryoma grinned. He knew what he was going to say.  
  
"Hai."  
  
Tezuka had brushed aside a stray hair from Ryoma's face and smiled.  
  
That was how their relationship had started. Tezuka had left for Germany two days after, but Ryoma did not miss him. Letters would arrive everyday from the far away captain and sometime gifts too. Soon Teuzka returned.  
  
Tezuka retuned with the nationals, just as promised, with his shoulder completely healed. Their relationship picked up from where they left it, and rapidly bloomed. They spent many hours together getting to know each other. (hint hint)  
  
Summer came and summer left and soon it was time for the seniors to leave to attend high school.  
  
Early on, Tezuka had expressed his desire to go to America and attend the special tennis school. Ryoma had not commented, unwilling to say yes or no. Tezuka had not pressed for an answer then, but now Tezuka was graduating in few days and it was time to really decide.  
  
The air had been cold. The weatherman had said there was a chance of snow in the afternoon. The sky was gray and the sun was being lazy.  
  
Ryoma was walking to school with Tezuka as usual when Tezuka had brought up the subject about high school.  
  
"Ryoma."  
  
Ryoma understood what was coming next and sighed, holding on to Tezuka's hand tighter.  
  
"America. I think I'm going to accept. It's a good chance for me."  
  
Ryoma understood his ambition, because he had the same kind: the kind to challenge better players and improve. Ryoma understood Tezuka's passion to become stronger.  
  
"Ne Ryoma. Wait for me."  
  
Ryoma looked up, not really surprise. While it did not seem like it, Tezuka was possessive. He did not like to loose what was his, especially Ryoma. In Tezuka's mind, Ryoma was his and his only. He did not like sharing Ryoma with anyone for whatever reason except tennis. Only in tennis was Tezuka willing for share him, but in any other aspect, Tezuka was a lion.  
  
"No."  
  
Tezuka looked down in surprise. He had expected a yes. Or even an argument about his departure, but never had he expected this complete rejection.  
  
"Why?" Tezuka breathed out.  
  
"I'm not going to wait not knowing when you will return."  
  
Ryoma had though about this long before winter and his reason and decision was solid.  
  
"Tezuka-senpai, I can't wait. Years from now, who knows how we will have changed. Right now we love each other, but years from now, we might not be in love."  
  
Ryoma looked up into his eyes, asking him to understand.  
  
"Boucho, when you return, we can pick up from there if we want to, demo...I'm not going to wait. If I wait, I'll be stuck and wont' be able to move forward. I want to become stronger and to be that I need to keep moving."  
  
"Ryoma-"  
  
"Gomen. If I wait for you, I can't improve."  
  
Tezuka looked down. Ryoma looked up.  
  
"I want to keep moving forward, with or without you."  
  
Tezuka grabbed the smaller boy, pushed him against the wall, and began kissing him. It was a kiss full of passion, desire, regret, anger, and love. Tezuka broke the kiss and rested his head against the youger boy's shoulder.  
  
"This is so that you remember who you're letting go, so that years from now, you will remember me. It's a promise that I'll return."  
  
Ryoma smiled and pulled the older boy's face down and kissed him. It wasn't like Tezuka's kiss, full of heat. This is was gentle, like the one's mother gives their young. It promised love. It promised understanding.  
  
"This is so you remember who you're leaving behind. While I won't wait for you, I'll be here."  
  
"Ryoma."  
  
Ryoma entwined his fingers through the Seigaku's Tennis club captain's.  
  
"Grow. Improve and become stronger, strong enough to challenge the world. Become Seigaku's pillar and become stronger through it."  
  
"Hai." Ryoma kissed his fingers.  
  
"When we meet again, let's meet on equal terms."  
  
Ryoma understood what he meant. Tezuka wanted to meets him in the pros.  
  
"Hai."  
  
Tezuka hugged the young prodigy tightly and knew this wasn't truly goodbye. Ryoma smiled. Everyting would be alright.  
  
That was the last day they met each other. One week later, Tezuka left for the states.  
  
In the following year, Ryoma grew. Literally.  
  
Once where he had been the shortest tennis player in Seigaku, he now rivaled Momo and Kaido in height. His tennis improved, but that was a given.  
  
He began dating Momo-senpai over the summer. It wasn't the kind of love Ryoma had had for Tezuka, but it was still love. Momo was a constant support that Ryoma could lean on and they worked well together. Every morning Momoshiro would come to pick Ryoma up, only to find him still in bed. Then it would take 20 minutes get the young tennis regular up and dressed. They would run out of the house with Momo yelling at him for getting up late again and they would race down the street with Momo maneuvering the bike and Ryoma standing in the back holding on the older tennis captain. It was the same every morning and had been since last winter.  
  
"Ryoma."  
  
Already a year had gone by. A year since Tezuka left and now Momoshiro was leaving.  
  
"Ryoma."  
  
Ryoma wondered what would happen to this relationship. He did not want to breakup, but that might be selfish of him.  
  
"Ryoma."  
  
Tezuka had not sent a single letter since he left, but Ryoma had not expected any. Still, Ryoma was working his way to keep their promise: to meet on equal terms.  
  
"Ryoma."  
  
Ryoma blinked and found himself staring straight into Momo-senpai's eyes.  
  
"What are you thinking about! I've been trying to get your attention for the last 5 minutes!!!!"  
  
Ryoma got off the bike and Momo brushed his hair into place. It was a ritual for the two of them.  
  
"Gomen."  
  
"Let's go eat after school."  
  
"Hai." Ryoma grinned. "but your paying."  
  
Momo grabbed Ryoma's bag and threw it at him.  
  
"Don't I always?"  
  
They began walking towards the school.  
  
Ryome decided not to worry about this too much. When it happens, it'll happen. Momo might want to take this relationship as far as it can go and Ryoma was willing to try to. However, Momo will not ask Ryoma to wait for him, because he already know the answer.  
  
Ryoma will not wait for anyone. Just as the world waits for no one, Ryoma will not wait either. In the world of tennis, moving forward was the only way to reach the top, and Ryoma's goal was the very top. No matter what happens in life, Ryoma will keep moving forward, to achieve that goal.  
  
Tennis had brought Tezuka to him. Many years from now, tennis may bring Tezuka back to him. Tennis was the moving force behind their lives. It kept on shifting and changing and the only way for Ryoma to keep up was to move with it. He had no regrets. Tezuka wasn't gone. Eventaully, they will be back together, because tennis did that to people. But that will happen later in their lives. For now he was with Momshiro.  
  
One day, he might be reunited with Tezuka, but for now, he was with Momo and he would not think about the uncertain future. Momo was the present, and therefore, Ryoma will devote his thoughts and plans to him. Later they might be pulled apart, but for now, they were together. That was all that mattered.  
  
The future is for tomorrow. For now, thinking about the present is enough.

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RR...read and review!!!!!


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